Damn Bastard
by radicalrad22
Summary: Okita Sougo leaves OC Yoshida Akira with a very bad first impression. However, her friends at the Shinsengumi and the Yorozuya keep making moves to get them together. Why, exactly, are they doing this, even when they know they hate each other? Read on to find out. Maybe Sougo x OC. Ratings may change later.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello guys, this is my first fic! I'm more of a reader than a writer, but as an avid fan of Gintama, I felt obligated to write this awesome idea down to share with the world. **

**Disclaimer: The gorill- I mean, Sorachi-sensei owns Gintama. None of the original characters actually do anything depicted in this fanfic. If Gintama were mine, GinTsu would've long since been together. Anyway-**

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

Akira's POV

* * *

Lesson: Meeting new people is always a bitch

* * *

I check off items on my list. _Chocolate, check. Rice, check. Vegetables I may or may not eat, check. Milk, chec- _

Suddenly, I collide with a shorter person, the tips of their bangs tickling my nose. I fall on my butt with a thud.

"Oi, watch where you're going, girl!" An irked voice says. Judging by the depth of it, it's a man's voice. I feel a sneeze coming on, probably because of the hair, but still attempt to reply.

"I'm sorry but-_Achoo!_" I sneeze in the middle of my sentence. I start over. "I'm sorry, but technically, I'm not a girl. I'm 18, ya know," I say, this time finishing my sentence.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, watch where you're going, _woman_," the voice said. I look up and see none other than a Shinsengumi officer, in the flesh. He was a little shorter than me, probably by about 1/2 an inch. His hair, which was the cause of my sneeze earlier, was a sandy shade of brown. "And I may just have to arrest you."

"On what grounds, may I ask, _officer_?" I ask through gritted teeth. This guy was pissing me the hell off.

His wine colored eyes squinted. "On the grounds of, one, bumping into a police officer, and two, being taller than said police officer."

"DAMN YOU YOU BASTARD, MY GENES AREN'T MY GODDAMNED FAULT!" I shout at his stupid, smug face. _Great first impression, bastard; now I hate you without even knowing your name. _

"Now I'll have another reason to arrest you, Redwood, for hurting a police officer's feelings."

_Stop insulting my red highlights, you jerk!_

"...Even if you put me in prison, I'll instigate an uprising and escape with every other poor soul arrested by you," I say nonchalantly.

"Then, once your wanted criminal self gets arrested again, I'll personally take it upon myself to give you hell," he replied calmly.

"We have quite the sadist here, don't we? And _just_ hell? That's where my vacation house is, you know, I visit every summer. Lovely place," I give him a shit-eating grin.

He snorts.

"Whatever, you bitch," he mumbles. "You're off the hook this time, but remember, next time, get on my nerves and face the consequences." He says, walking away.

I feel the urge to flip him the bird, but refrain from doing so because of the children in the vicinity. _Damn bastard. _

* * *

**A/N: Soo... how was it? I hope it was good. This is kinda like a 'first meeting' scenario before with Sougo before the plot gets real. Until next time! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Soo... hi again! Here's another chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

Akira's POV

* * *

Lesson: When sharing opinions on people, you never know how the person you're talking to feels about the person you're talking about

* * *

_Thanks for ruining my day, you bastard._

I unlock the door to my small apartment and let myself in. Putting my groceries away in the fridge, I suddenly remember the fact that I have to meet Kagura for lunch. _Shit, shit, shit. Who else did she say was coming? Was it Kintoki? No, no, it was Gintoki. Oh yeah, and some other kid. _

Deciding to get ready to meet Gin-chan, as Kagura called him, and the other kid (what was his name again?), I hop in the shower. Looking at the conveniently placed clock on the bathroom wall near the sink, I notice that it's only 10:30 AM. Sighing, I relax. Just for the sake of the audience (and Author-sama), I think about the time Kagura and I first met.

**Author-sama side note: Oi, Akira, stop breaking the fourth wall! **

**Akira: It's not my fault, you're the one who couldn't find any other way to weave this in! **

**Author-sama: Oh, yeah.. hehe... *sweat drops***

_It was a sunny afternoon and I had decided to go for a walk to Oedo park. Seeing as it was a really pretty day, I sat down on a bench and began sketching. _

_Suddenly, the blue sky I was looking up at turned black. _

_And I felt blood roll down the side of my face. _

"_Sadaharu, down!" I hear a feminine voice call. _

_The black lifted and the sky was blue again. _

_I saw a girl with orange hair, the person who the voice belonged to. _

"_Hey," I said. _

"_Hey," she replied, hopping onto the bench, right next to me. Her dog crouched on the ground beside her. "Watcha drawing?" _

"_Nothing much," I replied. _

"_Lemme see." _

"_I'm more of a painter than a drawer, you know, my drawings are kinda embarrassing." _

"_If you won't show me your drawings, then show me your paintings." _

"_Fair 'nough."_

_At my house, she studied the many abstract paintings I'd done. After asking question after question about my profession (an artist), she decided to paint something herself. Soon enough, it was dark. She used my phone to make a call to someone (Gin-chan, she said), and spent the night at my place. After a meal of egg over rice (her choice), she asked to sleep in a closet (god knows why), her monstrous dog right outside the closet door. By the time I woke up in the morning (or afternoon, it was already lunchtime), she was gone, a phone number in her place. _

_We spoke on the phone about twice a week, sometimes meeting in the park. The last time she called she said that Gintoki, who I think is her guardian, and some other kid wanted to meet me. Hence, this whole lunch thing happened. _

Lost in thought thanks to Author-sama, I turned to the clock again. It read 11:30. _I've been in here for an hour! And I'm gonna be late! _I jump out of the warm, inviting shower and quickly get dressed. Locking my apartment, I grab my bicycle and begin biking towards the restaurant Kagura said we'd meet at.

About half the way there I realize that I own a motor scooter. _Well, there's no turning back now, _I sigh to myself.

-at the restaurant-

I park my bike and attempt to calm my beating heart. I check my watch and notice that, even with all the effort I put into biking as fast as I could, I'm 5 minutes late. Sighing, I enter the restaurant. I hear loud voices from one of the booths. One of them is Kagura's.

"Yes, Gin-chan, I'm sure I told her the right restaurant name."

"Gin-san, I'm sure she's just late. Don't worry." A boyish voice says.

"Who says I'm worried, Patsuan? I just can't order my parfait until she gets here! Hurry up, damnit!"

"Hey guys!" I say, trying to ignore the comments of who I assumed was Gintoki.

"Hi Akira-chan!" Kagura says.

"Hey," I say again, sitting down.

I notice that there are already four people in the booth. Gintoki (the guy with silver hair, I assume), the other kid (he has glasses, but what's his name?), Kagura, and a woman with a brown ponytail.

"Hello, Akira-san," the brown haired lady says with a smile on her face.

"Sup," Who I assume is Gintoki says.

"Hello, Akira-san," The boy with glasses says, mimicking his sister.

"Sorry for being late, you guys," I say.

"Oi, Otae, can I order my parfait now?" Gintoki asks, ignoring me.

"Yeah, sure, Gintoki-san," I answer for her. "It's on me."

His bored demeanor immediately lifts.

"Wait, seriously?" He says to me. I nod. "Waiter, 5 strawberry parfaits with extra chocolate sauce!" He calls.

The glasses boy gives him a look.

I laugh, patting his shoulder.

"Kagura-chan, what would you like?" I ask, leaning over to look at the menu she was holding.

"I've made up my mind," she says. "I want egg over rice!"

"How about you guys?" I ask.

The glasses boy - Shinpachi, as I learned his name was - and Otae choose their dishes while I choose mine. Waving the waiter over, everyone tells him their order (except Gintoki of course, he already ordered his parfaits).

Our food arrives.

Everyone starts eating, Gintoki especially fast.

"To be honest, I can't see how you keep in shape if you eat this much sweet food."

"Yeah," he replies, mouth full, "according to the doctor, I'm pre-diabetic."

I laugh. "No surprise."

He nods and takes another bite. "It must be the gorilla drawing this. Even if I really should be fat in real life, no manga or anime wants a fat main character."

Author-sama curses Gintoki for breaking the fourth wall.

"Waiter, I want another bowl!" Kagura shouts.

The waiter takes her bowl and brings it back to her. Once again she asks for a refill. And a third time, and a fourth time.

Gintoki, having finished his parfaits, asks me,

"So... you're the one who Kagura spent the night with that one time, right?"

I nod.

"Can she stay over more often? The brat's really getting tangled in my hair these days." *

I laugh. "Sure, why not?"

Just as we're finishing up, Otae pulls out a package.

"Is anyone still hungry? I brought something extra, just in case." She says, untying the cloth on the package. "Hope you don't mind, it's _tamagoyaki_." [1]

What she shows to us is nothing like _tamagoyaki_, though. What I saw in her box was a substance only definable by one term - _dark matter_.

Everyone simultaneously mumbles how very, _very _full they are.

Otae frowns.

"Aww, this is going to go to waste! Is everyone sure they're still not hungry?"

Vigorous head shakes answer her question.

"I'll eat your food, Otae-san!" A manly voice called from under the table. "I'll eat your delicious cooking till the day I die!" Someone, presumably the owner of the voice, leaped out from under the cloth onto Otae's lap.

I gasp. Everyone else sighs.

* * *

[1] _tamagoyaki_ \- "Tamagoyaki 卵焼き is a type of Japanese omelette, which is made by rolling together several layers of cooked egg." - Google

*_gets tangled in my hair_\- a play on the term get (it) out of your hair

**A/N: So... yeah, there's your second chapter. **


	3. Hey Guys

Hey Guys...

So I'm not sure if anyone other than my one follower is reading this story, but lately I've been really busy, and I'm not updating. If I'm making a fic I'd like it to be something I'm committed to, and this is just not happening with this story.

I may not be actually updating this for a while, but I'll still try to update as much as possible.

Just letting you know.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sup, my faithful readers! Wait, there's no one really reading this..., except for BlueFire Jin 14, ****yxcvbnm124****, and ****Michiyo1531, ****this story's first three followers! That's right, kids- follow, like and review this story and get a shoutout! (*thinks: I really hope this works!*)**

**Sorry for not updating. I know, I know, I'm a bad, bad person. Sorry. **

**Also, I made some changes to the first two chapters of this story. In the first one I just fix a few typos, but the second one I made some major changes! I was typing that chapter at like 1am and didn't realize how boring and plain it was. I mean, it's still pretty boring and plain, but I'd still appreciate if you read both the chapters again! **

**Okay, enough of my talking (or writing?). Let's get this chapter started! **

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

Akira's POV

* * *

Lesson: If you want something, fight for it

* * *

_Last chapter recap: Someone, presumably the owner of the voice, leaped out from under the cloth onto Otae's lap. _

_I gasp. Everyone else sighs. _

"I love you, Otae-san!" The man on her lap says.

"Oh, hello, Kondo-san," she says, grasping him in a headlock, choking him. "What brings you here?"

She stands up, allowing a full view of this 'Kondo-san'. He's wearing a distinctive navy and gold uniform - a sure sign of being in the Shinsengumi. They let nitwits like this into the Shinsengumi? No wonder bastards like the dude I bumped into earlier was so pissed at the world. Damn, and they think their 'no women' rule is smart.

Otae pulls both herself and Kondo-san out of the booth and walks out the door, all the while choking Kondo-san. In turn, his face is turning blue due to the lack of blood flow.

I don't know what happens after she exits the restaurant, but it sure doesn't sound pretty.

Shinpachi-san stands up and rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile on his face and a sweat drop running down the side of his face.

"Well, Kagura-chan, Gin-san, we really should get going," he says hurriedly.

Maybe I'm just a sadistic bitch who wants to make this more awkward for them, or maybe I just enjoy these people's company, but I say,

"Ooh, leaving so soon? We could go do something else now,-"

"Heh, thanks for the offer, Yoshida-san, but we really, really should get going. It was nice meeting you, though," he replies, unsuccessfully trying ushering Kagura and Gintoki out of the booth, who stay put.

Kagura pops a sukonbu, looking at Shinpachi with bored eyes.

"Have you guys seen a, uhh, hairy man somewhere around here?" A deep voice asks.

I turn and see a pretty tall man with a cigarette in his mouth. He also seems to be a part of the Shinsengumi.

I point towards the restaurant doors. He nods in silent thanks.

Finally, Shinpachi gets Kagura and Gintoki out of the booth. Gintoki waves a silent goodbye and Kagura yells,

"See you later, Akira-chan!"

I wave too.

I sigh.

It begins to rain.

I walk out the restaurants door and make for my bike. In the distance, I spot the first Shinsengumi officer being given a talking-to by the second Shinsengumi officer.

It rains harder.

I decide to wheel my bike home; riding in this weather would be dangerous.

I pull my umbrella out of its 'secret compartment' (aka the water bottle holder) of my bike. I begin to walk home. With nothing better to do, I read the names of the shops on either side of me.

'Kuroko's Flowers'.

'Minamoto's Anpan Stand'.

'Takaguchi's Bakery'.

"Hey, bicycle girl," a harsh voice calls.

I stop for a second, then start again. Che, must be hearing things.

"Oi, bitch, don't act like you're deaf."

Okay, I know that that's not my imagination. I turn around slowly.

Guess who?

The bastard from before.

He's standing under the shade of Takaguchi's bakery.

"What the hell do you want?" I ask.

"Let me under your damn umbrella."

Wine colored eyes stare at me through sandy brown bangs.

I sigh.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why not?" He shot right back.

I extend my arm, the one with the umbrella, ever so slightly towards him.

Lighting strikes. Thunder booms.

"We're going to my apartment, just so you know," I state plainly.

"Nope, we're going to the Shinsengumi headquarters."

"No, we aren't. Its my umbrella."

"It may be your umbrella, but it's in my hands now," he says. I realize, horrified, the he has somehow managed to get the umbrella out of my grip.

"Asshole," I murmur under my breath.

He might be shorter than me, but he sure walks fast. He's already a couple paces ahead of me.

I don't want to risk getting my glasses wet, so I run a little to catch up.

_Damn bastard._


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey y'all, I know the last chapter wasn't the longest, but here's another one! **

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

Akira's POV

* * *

Lesson: If you really care about something, never put it in your pockets. It's bound to get lost.

* * *

_Last chapter recap: I don't want to risk getting my glasses wet, so I run a little to catch up. Damn bastard. _

Giving up, I walk alongside him, still wheeling my bike. _Sigh. _

We don't really look at eachother a lot; we walk in silence.

I'm not sure of quite what the way to the Shinsengumi headquarters is, and I don't ask. My ego is still recovering from the fact that he was so easily able to steal my umbrella.

The pouring rain lightens just a bit.

The asshole stopped right in his tracks, no warning. I bump into him by accident. I don't apologize.

"Here we are," he says.

"Just give me my umbrella back," I say through gritted teeth.

"Redwood, if you want your umbrella back, you're gonna have to come in. I'm not running from here to the entrance without an umbrella."

_Again with the red highlights!_

"DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!" Completely losing my cool, I drop my bike and knock him over. I go all Kung Fu Panda on him, punching and kicking him all over. He puts up a real fight, but eventually, completely soaked, I emerge victorious, umbrella in hand. I pick my bike back up.

And the bastard just stands up casually, dusts himself off, and goes inside.

I unclench my fist; I hadn't realized I had it clenched in the first place.

And in my fist I find a red eye mask.

_Must be the bastard's. _

_Heh_, I laugh to myself, _if he gives two shits about this, this'll be funny. _

I tuck the eyemask into my pocket.

I go back to my apartment. It has stopped raining, so there's really no need for my umbrella on the walk home.

* * *

Chapter 4 _continued _

* * *

Sougo's POV

* * *

Lesson: Do your best, but don't push yourself too hard

* * *

_The next morning... _

"Oi, Yamazaki, have you seen my eyemask?" I ask.

Yamazaki, eating his breakfast, insolently replies, "No, captain, I haven't seen it anywhere. Sorry,"

_This stupid dumbass insolent motherfu-_

**Author-sama: Oi, Sougo! This story is rated T! Don't be the reason I have to change the rating! **

**Sougo: Why the hell not? **

**Author-sama: Because, Sougo, dear, currently I'm the author of this story. I could get Kamui to violently kill you off. Or worse, I could make this a mushy love story. **

**Sougo: Who is Kamui? Also, YOU WOULDN'T DARE! **

**Author-sama: Oh, but I would. **

**Sougo: Ugh, fine. Wait a minute - I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE EVIL SADIST HERE!**

**Author-sama: Oh, but Sougo, you know so little about the evils of the world. **

**Sougo: Huh? What do you mean? **

**Author-sama: Anyway, let's continue the story, yeah? **

**Sougo: *Groans* Guess I'll be forced to use a substitute. **

_This stupid dumbass insolent motherfudgemaker. Who does he think he is? _

**Sougo: Are you happy now, Author? **

**Author-sama: Yes. And don't forget the -sama. I'm superior here. **

**Sougo: Whatever. **

From now on, I'm just gonna ignore Author-_sama _because I really just want to finish my part of the chapter and go sleep.

I'm about to hit Yamazaki when I spot the mayo-freak. He's currently squirting an inhuman amount of mayonnaise onto his breakfast. I cringe, then whip out my bazooka.

"OI, SOUGO, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"Oh, good morning, Hijikata-san, I didn't see you there. I was aiming at a mosquito behind you."

"Whatever."

I then leave the canteen because I want Hijikata's death to surprise him. Now I'll have to wait until afternoon until my next attempt.

I lie down on the floor, ready for a nice mid-morning nap. I reach into my pocket and once again realize that my eye mask is missing. _Heh, no problem, right? I can sleep without it. Yeah. No problem. No problem at all. SOUGO, YOU CAN SLEEP WITHOUT YOUR EYEMASK. YOU CAN DO THIS. _

After my little pep talk to myself, I try to close my eyes and fall asleep. I wait five minutes, the usual amount of time it takes for me to sleep, but it never comes. I lie there for ten minutes; fifteen; twenty.

_I can't take it anymore!_

I shoot straight up.

"I HAVE TO FIND MY EYEMASK!"


End file.
